You must be in Law School if…

this is a repost from a facebook profile. Found it abso-freakin’-lutely true and couldn’t help laughing at some.

Law students and graduates, read on.
 

 

You consider dropping out of law school approximately every hour, but after that first semester you realized you were already in too much debt to be anything other than a lawyer.

Substance abuse becomes you.
–caffeine tabs, coffee, alcohol and other substances…

The drama in your life now rivals that of high school.

You make adverse possession jokes.

You can name without hesitation at least three people who make you want to throw things at when you see them raise their hands in class. (THIS IS SO TRUE)

You don’t remember anything from the NIL except that that forgery is wholly inoperative. And that might be even incorrect.

You are truly and deeply unnerved by the thought of some of your classmates becoming attorneys.

You think tequila shots are essential to ordered liberty.

You wonder if that one professor who always seems angry and irritable and treats students’ minds as his personal playground is actually a sociopath or just didn’t get enough hugs as a child.

Sometimes during disagreements you are tempted to argue with complete legal basis the offending friend or family member without him understanding what you said.

You know and understand the complicated epistemological and metaphysical differences between a conspirator and an accomplice.

You know and understand the complicated epistemological and metaphysical differences between coffee and red bull.

You can’t remember if you decided to come to law school because you wanted to help people and make a difference in the world or because you just hate yourself.

You think whoever first introduced the Socratic method into the law school curriculum should have his face lit on fire and then beaten out with a rake.

You can’t think of any legitimate reason why a law student would need access to certain public records, but you can think of a whole lot of illegitimate ones.

When someone is expressing their frustration or anger about something that is in any way related to the law, you can’t be sympathetic because you’re too busy figuring out in your head if they have a cause of action.

You hear about the death of an elderly friend or relative and wonder if they died intestate.

You have considered changing career paths to hot dog vendor, stilt walker, or career alcoholic.

You’re pretty sure the reasonable prudent man is a friendless fool who still lives with his mother.

You use a highlighter when you read fiction.

You catch the cold from a sick classmate who did not want to miss the recitation.

You go to school but PRAY that you won’t be called.

You excuse bad behavior by saying “Good faith naman eh” and rarely would people understand you.

You use the words like:

‘alleged’ instead of ’said’…
‘rationale’ instead of ‘reason’…
‘consent’ instead of ‘permission’…
‘accused’ instead of ’suspect’…
‘compensation’ instead of ‘payment’…
‘termination’ instead of ‘firing’…
‘white unidentified substance’ instead of ’shabu’…
‘carnal relations’ instead of ‘SEX’…
‘acts of lasciviousness’ instead of ‘molest’…
‘rescind’ instead of ‘cancel’…
‘maturity’ or ‘prescription’ instead of ‘deadline’…
‘imbecile’ instead of ’stupid’…
‘insane’ instead of ‘crazy’…
‘intimidate’ instead of ‘bully’…
‘contract to sell’ instead of ‘reservation’…
‘illegitimate child’ instead of ‘bastard’…
‘brief’ instead of ’short’…
‘digest’ instead of ’summary’…
‘jurisdiction’ instead of ‘power’…
‘fruit’ instead of ‘profit’…
‘injunction’ instead of ‘order’…
‘vagrant’ instead of ‘bum’…
‘falsehood’ instead of ‘lie’…
‘defraud’ instead of ‘rip off’…
‘mediation’ instead of a ’sit down’…
‘unreasonable’ instead of ‘asshole’…

you realize after 4 years that the girl/guy beside you was pretty/handsome after all.

And last but not the least

You go into a panic attack like you just heard the word “SUNOG!” when you hear the word, “SHUFFLE!”

Uncategorized |